"You are a magnificently generous and special soul filled with creativity and beauty. Keep your faith in yourself as I know your aspirations will lead you on a valuable life journey for your artistic voice. Many conservative artists in the classical world will be challenged by your voice and creativity. I'm saying this because you have the strength and wisdom to be you and that threatens some people who are insecure and relying on external approval to prop themselves up."
My sincere appreciation.
When there is conflict between A and B, there will be three types of "truth":
1. "Truth" from A's side;
2. "Truth" from B's side;
3. The "truth" itself.
Which type would you like to believe?
Seppel, who's 9 years old and got returned recently to the cat home. Grumpy at the start, suddenly gave attack and hissed to people. Now - already much better with the heal of love. :)
Dear Seppel, don't punish yourself with bad emotions because of others' mistakes - it is not your fault. It's a big lost for them who chose not to live with you anymore. PLUS, there are of course bad guys, but many more are good people - someone much nicer is waiting ahead. ✨
" Gisi is happy and full; Wilma eats slower."
C - - - - ' ' ' ' _ | - - - - _ _ ||
"Sister, sister, schmeckt es? =^^="
"Who is actually playing with the cat toy?" ^з^
Hey Icke, when I'm not able to become your destination, hopefully I'm still a bridge, which leads you to a better life. (^｡^)
Icke is 10 years old, roughly 60-year-old as human. His parents left him at the cat house with the reason of "being allergic". Well, do people only get allergic after keeping him for 10 years? The first week Icke ate almost nothing, didn't come out, didn't talk to any other cats. But luckily the staff and volunteers are melting the ice constantly with the warmth in voice and heart. Gradually he starts to play with his neighbour, a pretty lady, and eats more and more, and becomes again curious about the things around.
Icke has been adopted by a volunteer and found his new home after three weeks. Alles Gute lieber! =^^=
Karma brings two pieces - Shimmer and Mermaid.
One year as a cycle - it starts there, and it disappears there with the last bubble broken.
In one situation, one can see the hero who light up the whole world; at the same time, one can see the villain. Mr. L, nobody would win in the battle. Why are you still competing in such a disgusting way? It is a great pity when the personality is a weak point, because it takes much longer to train oneself to become a better person, than to become a better technician.
May - maybe it is a season to say goodbye.
The journey is on-going. Let's see what comes next.
Three months - surface level --
Many people think they are cool.
But when you think you are cool, you are actually not.
"Sister, sister, did you have fish for lunch? Did you?? Did you???"
(Smell, smell, and innocent looking full of face... ... =^^=)
- "Sister, I am now full, and I'll leave the rest of the food in the bowl. :)"
- (by accident) "Ah... sorry Luiz... I didn't mean to knock over the bowl... ..."
- "Hmm... it's OK. I'll eat the food on the floor so you don't have to clean it..." (later) "MAU... so full..."
The boy will be in the new home at the beginning of July! :D
"When you don't mean it, don't say it. Save your time and energy for more important things."
1. Intro - Hanabi
"Live in the Moment"
"In music, one can not hide, and can not lie."
4. Fairy of the Snow “雪之精灵“
A personal gift to Lotta-Maria Saksa.
6. Green Snake
"Is life to enjoy, or to suffer?"
Maybe life-death parting will continue the story... ...
Is Perfect World achievable?
Almost, almost... ...
What is a Perfect World?
You have a small group of people, can be very small, and you love each other, support each other, trust each other heart and soul, and then, you are able to illuminate the darkness.
Everyone is wearing the armour. When the world is warm, we take it off; when it is cold, we fight.
Some people make the world warmer, some colder.
You see people with completely different expectation of life, living in grey, and trying to disseminate. Life is still better with hope, and with looking forward to ideality. It may never be achieved, but at least you see the world through a warmer filter.
You see the marriage of so many years, but the trust is still so vulnerable. You see how weak one can be, enjoy the enjoyable part, and run away from taking responsibilities.
The charming personality you're pursuing can be a very sharp weapon for the ones who don't like you, only because the enemy in their mind unfortunately reflects on you. Something is wrong? Yes maybe the existence.
You want to be a priest, saving people with kindness and belief? Then you need to burn yourself and never regret.
Hey, this is life. The training is challenging.
What is growing up?
Growing up is, you're better and better at dealing with tasks, and comes more and more complicated ones.
Eight years ago, I was listening to this piece and trying to play it. Technically I was not good enough, and theoretically I didn't understand why it sounded as magic.
Eight years later, after Australia, after classical guitar and music conservatoire, I'm listening to this piece again, right in the city where the composer lives - and now everything makes sense.
The world is operated with circles.
Germany is an interesting country. The first half year stepping on it, life was tested with where the lowest bottom could be. The worst thing could ever happen to me would be the music journey terminated after the constant pursuing, together with the crush of belief: "it could work out". The first six months, the confidence in music was almost completely smashed. There were some moments that I started to believe that, I didn't know how to play guitar - my beloved instrument - at all! All the praises I heard before, all the intuitions which led me to this country turned out only to be ironic illusions.
And now, it starts to test the other edge of how high or perfect life could be. I'm now like being put in a warm filter: all the positive aspects I've learnt, seen, and experienced, start to flash back and influence myself almost like hypnotizing. Up to now, all I expect in life has been found here -- hope it lasts and does not just become a delicate fantasy.
("If you are the angel, then let us together enjoy the bliss of life;
If you are the devil, then let me burn in your fire of hell, until turning into ashes."
---- 《红》, for the Funeral one day
The two most important things:
1. Keep the music journey going;
2. Learn to become a better human being.
The year 2017 may have been the most challenging year of my music journey up to now. I’ve finally arrived at the country that I’ve been dreaming for so long, after being fighting for it with all my energy. But the question mark was getting more and more dominant in my mind for almost half a year after I arrived: do I really know how to play guitar, the instrument which I always treat as my belief?
Maybe I look quite dangerous or maybe just not interesting at all to the musicians around me at the time. Some reacted laidback, some rejective. Some tended to approach, but it only turned out to be something like a “flirting”, and it was not related to my music at all... I was feeling like duckweeds, floating here and there, trying to contact , but hardly get response.
I always believed that keeping studying music in the conservatoires would be the best way for me. Thus I’ve visited some potential conservatoires, and have seen how differently the guitarists are treating my beloved instrument, and the identity as a musician. Some people with very big names, turned out to be someone who has very strong ego. “What are you playing? Jazz? Those ping-ping pong-pong thing?” Honestly, I haven’t played much jazz, but I don’t think any music style is lower than another. Therefore, the word “classical” doesn’t mean it is nobler. And maybe the word “professor” also doesn’t mean that the personality is greater.
There were some moments I felt that I’ve put all I have for a final gambling, which may just end in a dead alley, and I may just come to Germany to learn some German language, and that’s all. The subtitle in the piece “Mermaid”: “You give all you have, living as everyday walking on the blade. But... you might not get the reward” is actually describing myself. The part “Aria of Dissolving” is a desperate mourning, after I know the conservatoire I’ve been preparing for all the time stopped taking students in. “Life, are you kidding me?” And also the visa problem – always the biggest problem for a foreigner – a professor “kindly” mentioned this and would love to offer me a place to study in the University he teaches. Two times after we briefly met, having been asked quite a lot about my personal life but not my music, I got this invitation when I was asking for a lesson: “I live alone (with my daughter), would you like to come to my house and cook some Chinese food for us?” Well, I confess if I had misunderstood something...
Time occupied by the German course, and less time playing guitar and composing. I was like the weather in winter – the body cooled down, and almost went into hibernation.
And then, the light comes in January 2018, in Osnabrück.
I’ve already immersed myself completely in Peter’s music since I arrived. Almost every moment when I’m awake, I listen to the CDs he generously gives to me. All music comes from a sincere soul, not to please the public, but only to be faithful to the inner self. The touching sound brings me to the status of deep meditation, and thanks to that, I start to experience “live in the moment” and have got the feeling twice that “life could not be better” – it really exists! Before it was always like hoping for a better future - yes the hope is positive, but it also means that the present is not very pleasant. And now I remember again, why I turned my path from fingerstyle to classical guitar study – because I want to improve my guitar technique and learn music theory thoroughly. But then? Does it mean that I always have to stay in the “classical” world? What is the purpose of improving the technique and learning the theory? To be faithful to myself and write my own music!
It is the first time I feel that, there must be a deeper reason, why Germany is my dreamland. To be around by a great master is like the incense of marvellous personality gradually permeates into the body and mind, and it gradually brings the person, me, to a better status, which allows me to live as a better human being – warm, open, tender, and positive. This is also similar to a Buddhist training which I am always looking for, and living partly like a hermit. I am rebellious enough, even dare to challenge the humanity with myself – but I still believe that, there is pure and glorious part in this Universe.
The way upcoming is still not clear, but I am more appreciating the moment that I live than ever, and I start to discover the old music I've composed partly but not yet finished.
New project is on the way. :)
p.s. I believe, that music really has the power to heal.